Choosy moms choose...

Oh I have been absent for a week. A long week. Good and bad.

A lot of talking, apologizing and making up to do. I have forgiven the BF for the tantrum in Houston (I think, not so unconsciously, that comment was linked to the whole pass-the-altoid debacle from my birthday...)

We've both agreed to let some things go in an effort to make this work. He will let go of the birthday/strip club shenanigans, and I will let go of the mistrust over his trip to DC and his friends that are girls. (I get to keep my guy friends in all this too.)

I will also do a better job of asking for exactly what I want up front, rather than trying to keep him happy. The latter is a guessing game at best and hasn't worked so far.

I am no longer in search of a millionaire on life support. I assume that Ivy is not looking for a college girl with an eating disorder either, but I think we all know, among us girls here, that he would like me a bit thinner. (I would like him a bit richer and more buff but eh...vat can u do.) The insults one chooses to say in anger are often laced with the truth.


Today was brightened by the fact that my birthday sharin' friend (the one who partied with me at the strip club) has a lover (or lovah - no other word for this guy...long story for another chapter in this blog) who occasionally sends out funny emails. Today's was just a link, and it is worth sharing:

http://www.thesurrealist.co.uk/slogan.cgi?word=Vajayjay


It is an advertising slogan generator, and my friend's lovah cleverly filled in the word to sloganize already - VAJAYJAY. I got back some great ones right away:

Gee, Your Vajayjay Smells Terrific

Yes, it does. I work hard on that.

Mama's got the Magic of Vajayjay

Indeed I do. Why bring the mom thing into though. Really.

Wow! I Could Have Had a Vajayjay!

You totally could have dude, so why didn't you? Regretting a missed opportunity for drinking tomato juice is a stretch, but this...now this is a slogan I can believe in! Regrets like these are just a waste and should be avoided.

Obey Your Vajayjay.

Yes, and often.

This occasionally gets me into trouble, so sometimes you gotta ignore the vajayjay. Always obeying would mean no work and therefore no job for me. A girl's gotta pay the mortgage. However, I have noticed that some girls not only don't obey the vajayjay, they ignore it altogether or worse yet, forget about it unless they are married or close to it. Then after they marry they forget about it all over again. What up? Obey your master...

Daddy or Vajayjay?

Sick. Just sick. I cannot recall what real product this slogan this is tied to. I put this in here b/c sometimes the slogan generator just misfires in a way that is bizarre and makes you cringe.

Vajayjay. It's What's For Dinner.

Always on the menu at my house. Chef's favorite.

Absolut Vajayjay.

Absolut absolutely correlates to that part of my body getting attention.

The Vajayjay that Smiles Back.

Um, wow.

Really?

Is that possible? Is there a class I can take for this? I am just not that talented...

The Loudest Noise Comes From The Electric Vajayjay.

I bet.

I'll end on that one. If you go to the site, you can get served up as many as 500 different slogans for whatever word you chose. Great for real, true laughs.