My hooha was sitting on that?!

Say it ain't so, Jenna!

Jenna J is not only giving up porn, she had her implants removed! The world is a sadder place today...

Big shout out to Homey out there in Denver/San Diego. I loved talking to you last night. (Thanks for asking about Punk Boy. All that's on hiatus, possibly permanently but never say never.) But girl, you gotta ditch that Michael Buble quoting, ex-wife missing dick. Seriously. There are other men out there who are great in bed. Trust me. It just takes one good encounter to squash the dickwit inside of you. I don't even think of he who should not be named in that way anymore, even though he was a fucking volcano in bed.

I have to say, you gave some amazing quotes last night. I am seriously considering making my next profession bed and breakfast proprietor - if only for this:

"I'm gonna go run this b&b. It's got 10 rooms, and with that, the chances of me getting laid once a week in that place are very, very good."

I love that philosophy. Yeah, hotel management, here I come! We should open one together with 20 rooms...increase the odds for both of us.

After we got off the phone with you, we discussed the fact that Japan is the perfect place for assholes. He who should not be named is there right now. (Rock Star's man Vegas said that would be the reason why there was no ruse of the week. He's in Asia, and he's all out of ruses.) They probably wouldn't let your guy in if he tried to travel to Japan right now:

"No, so sorry. We have our quota of assholes at the moment. We have a big one here in Yamato. No more lying bastards toting red bull and wearing striped shirts...We really don't care if you have a big dick."

And thanks to Rock Star and entourage for coming over for Pimms and wearing striped shirts. It was loud! We fucking rocked! You left your red bull! Text Me! This town sucks! I'm getting a gyro! Look at my chest hair!

And, finally, Fun Girl. We missed you last night. Go A-team!

The Def Leppard guy, D, left this instant message on my screen last night regarding the concert on Monday night:

Ticketmaster called.

Said I couldn't take that wild chick I brought last time...

(blushing smiley face icon here)