These are the last tears I am gonna cry for you.

So - RS/GP you were there for one good part of the weekend. Friday night at the Duck and watching the bands.

And my marathon session with the therapist on Saturday - wonderful. Who knew that this would be so good for me?

But no one was around for my Saturday night latenight debaucle - including our Gnome friend (he was in the corner of Slim's drinking Jager shots and laughing at me instead of doing his job) and UGH it was so bad.

The Bachelorette Party overall was fun. That part I won't even write about. Nana's, White Collar, Ess. The wine guy from 518 was interesting. But...

Let's just say that guys who act like 16 year old dorks around you is not any kind of a turn on. Especially guys that are usually putting themselves out there as a bad ass, guitar playing, rock star wannabe. You think you are getting Keith Richards and you get Waldo. OMG that part of Saturday night was so bad. So bad. I can't even write about it.

Sunday turned out better. Surprisingly better. Until two particular songs from the Girls played. GP - you know I almost lost it at this point.

Laying there on the blanket with four co-workers, looking at the stars, thinking wow I waited around all day for this part of the concert and they are singing songs none of us know. We digress into the conversation about overhearing snippets of conversation ("I know this but now its too late" and "It was a suicide beaver...") and we decide to form a band called Suicide Beaver just because it sounds so cool and who the fuck cares that we don't have enough talent to play instruments or sing in front of people?! And then this line pulls me out from the fun and slaps me in the face:

Adding up the total of a love thats true
Multiply life by the power of two

I laid there thinking that's what he meant to me. Life, with the two of us together, was going to be better than just me. And it was. But apparently not for him to keep trying. And now here we are.

And there I was on that blanket, and GP you knew I was having trouble. I think everyone else did too. And then the next song was worse:

These are the last tears I'm gonna cry for you
My cryin's through I'm moving on
I don't regret and won't forget
A single thing that we went through
But there are the last tears I'm gonna cry for you
You take things so much easier than I do
And you could live your life without me if you had to
And you believe that in the end it all works out right
And I might if not for you
And if you ask one which one lives just alone for love
I do
There was a time when all signs pointed to the warm south
The planets all lined up and built a new house
And everything we talked about felt like a prophecy
And when you looked at me they all came true
And if you asked which one wants to go the distance
I do
I'm gonna rack my mind one last time until I cannot think
I'm gonna dip into your memory and take a good stiff drink
And when I'm drunk on the last drop of sadness about how we went wrong
I'm gonna play this song
Make some coffee black and strong
Give thanks for healing time
And finally make up my mind

The tears were coming. But instead, you guys all knew I was going to lose it and started telling me jokes about genies in bottles and frogs who give blow jobs and you let me tell my complimentary peanuts joke for the 15 millionth time and we all laughed.

And then "Closer I am to Fine" came on and I was.

Today is not better. But I'm getting closer.