He's all that and a bag of chips!

My boss is having me do chart audits. A horrible task, but unfortunately, low patient population presently. So, I have time. UGH! I decide to do my audit in Auburn's unit. A tedious task and some of the questions were obscure and wasn't sure where to find the information. Luckily, Auburn offered to be my knight and shining armor...ahhh! He helped me answer a lot of questions and then the chart had to be used. It was nice sitting next to him for such a long time....He offered to help me finish it the next day. What a guy! Well, today I decided to finish as much as I could by myself and these were easier questions. So, I finished it with asking only a little assistance from him. Later, he stopped me in the hallway and told me that he had been in a meeting and was singing my praises to whomever was in the meeting. LOVED IT! Am I on his mind? I think I'm starting to crack his code....I also found out he does all the laundry, cleaning, cooking, and running his kids all over the place....WOW! I didn't think men like this existed. His wife has it good!! AND she cut her hair short!! STUPID GIRL! Who wants to go to bed with that? I KNOW he doesn't. He's said, she keeps cutting it shorter. I would never. Even when I'm 80. That curly, kinky granny hair will not find it's spot on my head! My husband thought that all old farts had to do it. I said, It's ugly and I'm not doing it. My fear is not getting old, but looking it. I'll fight it to the end!!!

Hottie vs. hottie

Saturday night was eventful.

Ivy League and I were out on the town and ran into 15 co-workers. I guess we're not so secret anymore.

We then went dancing, and while on the very small dance floor at this downtown bar, I notice Sales guy (mr. rolling stone tix, mr. send a limo to waffle house) out on the dance floor with a very cute 20-something hottie of his own. I figure he will see me, and see me dancing with my hottie, and this will end his pursuit. (Which has been pretty relentless btw over the past few weeks. I just haven't had time to write about it.)

Either he:

1. Didn't see me
2. Did see me and doesn't care
3. Did see me and cares and still wants to try and get a date with me

because first thing Monday morning I get an IM from him:

Him: I am here all week. No travel.

Me: Good for you

Him: Can we sneak out for a drink? (editor's note...it is 9:30 am at this point)

Me: You are relentless

Him: When I see something I want...

Me: My boyfriend probably wouldn't appreciate

Was there a pithy comeback? A smartass remark? Nope. There was SILENCE. No more IMs for awhile.

Until 3:30pm...

And he's asking if my guy is going to be at the work function next Tuesday. Ugh. He doesn't quit.

I didn't tell him that my hottie works here too.

Even Closer Quarters

So to continue my story about the delicate art of going number two while traveling with your hottie...

The hotel was actually the easy part of the trip.

The hard part was the house we stayed in the latter part of the week - on older home with small rooms and sketchy doors. The bathroom that was located upstairs near our bedroom was so tiny that my head almost hit the ceiling - and I am height challenged - but that's not the worst part. The doors off the bathroom were louvered (with slats) closet doors that opened out - just inches from the toilet. You could sit on the john and sort of look out into the hallway or the bedrooms. And the lock was simply a latch that connected the two doors from swinging open. No fan either. This was so problematic it wasn't even funny. I imagined myself sitting there with my jeans around my ankles, concentrating, trying to be quiet (please please please don't make a lot of noise) and having the doors swing open and me JUST DYING of embarrassment.

The look on hottie's face when we saw this room told me he was thinking the same thing. So I said:

I was paranoid about the bathroom thing and taking a dump this week but this is ridiculous. I don't know what I am going to do...

He laughed and said there are other bathrooms in the house and we'll be fine.

The funny thing is I wasn't fine for like two days. I just couldn't go. And I am not an uptight girl about these things. There was no Starbucks to escape to (we were out in the country) nor was there really anywhere to go besides the woods (egads!) so I was stuck.

Close quarters

So I am back from my trip out west with Ivy League over the holiday. I did miss that I was not going to see London for the week but did not miss Yorkshire Hottie. I had plenty going on to keep me occupied.

The week went very, very well.

The hotel was very swank and our room was nice.

But here's the dilemma. Traveling with your new boyfriend -and there's only one bathroom and its small and you are together for 7 days. How do you gracefully take a dump without him knowing?

It's near impossible.

There's the Starbucks option. I left him asleep and walked a block south to get an Egg Nog Latte and used the facillities there.

I also managed to wake up really early one morning and take one when he was still asleep. Phew! That's two days down.

More on this later - need to run to a meeting.

The BEST Man, yumm!

It has been an uneventful week. Too much time off! I should love to be home, but I get stir crazy and have to get out. Did the interview with Auburn and I did not listen to myself. Wore pants and a well fitted sweater which was hot enough. I was noticed. He made eye contact several times during the presentation and again, I emailed my evaluation of the presenter. He sent back, " Thanks for your input!" I have not seen him since, bummer! I keep thinking this is taking entirely too long, but I need to know if he's worth it. Gotta be, hope so, getting bored. Too many people off last week, at least this week will be normal!

My husband was a groomsmen in a wedding we went to yesterday. He looked fucking great. Unfortunately, the best man was on fire. So delicious. Tall, fit, with a shaved head and goatee. DANGEROUS! The best man was the groom's brother and friend of my husband's so OFF LIMITS to say the least. I have seen pictures of him and I THOUGHT he was a complete nerd. SURPRISE, SURPRISE I had something nice to look at during the ceremony. My husband introduced me to him and he grabbed my hand (at my fingers), not a full hand shake - like he was putting me in my "womanly" place. I don't like those kind of handshakes. I like full on palm to palm with a strong grip. Such a disappointment. I've realized he reminds me of my HI guy who I found out will be back at the beginning of the year. CAN'T WAIT!

Corporate Diva has been out of town. I MISS YOU CDIVA!!! (as do your fans....)
Please blog, and tell us about your trip with Ivy League!!! Please...

My evaluation

Yesterday Auburn asked me to help him with an interview. This is NOT a requirement for my job, nor do I have to answer to him. However, I agreed of course. The "interview" was to critique someone's speech and visual presentation. The presentation lasted an hour. I usually don't have that kind of time, but it was an usually slow day for me. So he lucked out. During the interview, Auburn strategically postitioned himself to sit across the room and diagonally to the left of me...probably the perfect view. Not too obvious to catch several glances directed my way....the speaker is in the front of the room, sir. So anyway, the interview ended and everyone is giving their evaluations to Auburn. I decide to blow the place and find my friend who just got an awesome boob job. I'm sure he was wondering, where is the evaluation from me. I decide to email him my eval. I did this at exactly 2:55 p.m. an hour or so after it was over. And then I call him to tell him what I've done. Auburn answers his phone, "yyyeeeeesssss!" (in his deep and sexy voice...it practically vibrated in my ear....mmmmm!) and I tell him I emailed the eval to him and he says emphatically, "THANK YOU!!! You were the only one who gave me exactly what I needed!" I'm thinking- no, not yet...I looked under the properties of my email to him and it was opened at 2:57p.m.- a little anxious, are we?!....So today he tells me how wonderful I am and that the next interview is on Wednesday and "I NEED you there!" I tell him, "Sure, wouldn't miss it." Note to self.....show a little leg next wednesday!!!

Bushy Brows was on the prowl today. I was successful at avoiding him yesterday. Told me I was one of the sexiest women in the hospital and then questioned what I had on under my skirt. Needless to say, he's thinking thigh highs with garter belts. Later he saw me in the hall and I had just changed for my run - a disappointing 2 miles with such perfect, cool running weather too....So now that he's seen me in my under armour, he wants to be my running partner. The last guy I ran with ruined another perfect friendship by falling for me...he called me his "beloved" a few too many times. Bushy brows says I shouldn't be out there running in the dark all by myself.....I'm likely safer without him chasing me. (and he admitted this to me as well.) Before we go our separate ways, he says be careful and kisses me on the forehead. Sweet, huh?

One major mistake I made today....I didn't go to a conference tonight. Auburn was likely there (DAMN!) and the doctor that spoke is single and a hottie(DOUBLE DAMN!!). The problem with doctors are, they all think they're hot. Even the dorks! But this guy, no dork and I have heard he's nice. I haven't dealt with him much. I should probably start dealing.

The pole did exist

I did indeed go to that party way out in the suburbs (farther out evuhnnnn than I live) just to see if the people really had installed a stripper pole for this late night. We didn't venture out towards the southwest part of town (beyond Cary - egads!) until after 1:30, but it was fun in that we are being obviously ironic sort of way.

They had indeed installed said pole. And only one girl was using it.

This puzzled me. The party was one of those suburban late nights where you have all range of people. RTP corporate workers in their 20s. People who worked in a gym. Real estate developers. Service industry people in their late teens to mid thirties. A former soccer player from UNC (also a mom) who was a bartender. She had me beat as the oldest there (thank god!)

None of the young girls would go near the stipper pole. I don't get it. They all seemed so slutty and made for that pole. But they were pretty timid when it came to doing anything bolder than wearing revealing clothes.

I used it once or twice, and now want one in my own house. (Future house, not current. Need a basement or something for this...)

Random sampling of conversation tidbits that I experienced:

Lamest Opener/Pick Up Line: "So, you are in your thirties..."
Surreal Moment: 17 year old discussing her SAT scores with me as well as her GPA. (I had to walk away.)
Overheard in the kitchen: "I don't know where she is but there's a line of puke across the deck..."

There was lots of alcohol and we stayed til almost 5. Ridiculous. Other than the pole I really didn't need to be at that party. When will the madness end? But like everything else, I made it a good time - as did Ivy League. We laughed all night at the people around us and at ourselves for being there.

So the trip to England to see Yorkshire Hottie is off. And I put off and put off telling him. Finally an email from him regarding hotel reservations forced my hand, and I wimped out and sent him back and email telling him the news. Told him I had met someone locally, that was very special, and it just wouldn't be right to go. Told him I had a fabulous time at the wedding and would never forget him.

He wrote back the next day:
I would be lying if I said I wasn't totally disappointed. Was really looking forward to the week. He is one lucky man...

Lots of Love,
XXOO

So he ended it like quite the gentleman. Will miss him but man have I got my hands full here.

At least he didn't CUP!

Life at the hospital has been busy. Flu season is starting and so is Auburn's interest in me. This, is the name I have given tall hottie. Huge fan, need I say more?! He HAS to see me everyday, or he will seek me out. Today, he came down to the ICU and found me. Didn't stay away for long and even put his hands on my shoulders and rubbed as he was talking to one of my friends. The words coming out of his mouth sounded like the teachers on the Peanuts (i.e. I have no fucking clue what he said). I just kept thinking, wow didn't even have to look up at him and I'm getting all this attention! I had seen him upstairs BRIEFLY. It was not my intention to see him as I did not have time at the moment. I had a mission which was to get my ass back down to ICU and work. Got side tracked by two other admirers. One of whom is moving out of state next week. He told me I needed to get all my hugs in now. Then this other guy comes in the office to hug me and actually touches my ass.....!

Me: "That was my rear-end!"

Him: "It was? Are you sure?!"

I show him where he rubbed and say, "At least you didn't cup!!" This dude would do me in a NY minute and if I was remotely interested in bushy eyebrows, it might happen. I also know that he is sort of used. Had a fling with one of my friends (she said he was awesome in bed...) when his wife was pregnant.....I always think...Ooohh, gross. But then have to remember that CDD's wife is pregnant. My conscience gives me a split personality, I swear.
So, anyway...Back to my story...When I'm having a discussion about where bushy brows put his hands, Auburn comes out of nowhere and pushes me full body into the wall (damn too bad there were people around...there is even a bed in this office for surgeons to sleep on ...) and seconds later, I get paged and gotta go. At least I know I'm making headway. One of these days, I'm gonna blow his mind and say, I just want to kiss you full on the mouth and press my body against yours. (Likely, he has not experienced this type of behavior....) His kind of flirting is what I experienced in the 5th grade. Things have gotta change!


Things with CDD are DEFINATELY on the backburner. He was supposed to be in town this past weekend. Have a guy bonding weekend or something. Apparantly he and his buddy come up every year and go to this place called Wild Bill's. It is a dance club/bar. Sometimes they have bands. .38 Special played there in May. Anyway, he said he would call with the details last Tuesday. Never heard a peep. He's afraid that he'll fall for me....at least that is what he says. I don't care b/c I always think of his preggo wife and I am otherwise occupied.


Things with hubby are awesome as always. Too bad I need all this damn attention........

A stripper pole in Apex

I think we did convince the co-worker to be hush hush. Her recommendation to me was that if I didn't want people to know we were dating, then perhaps we should not leave the house.

I think to myself that I like the idea of not leaving the house. Just having a whole bunch of sex with him all the time and not going anywhere is not a bad plan. But alas, I do need to make a living and I like going out and so does he so we'll have to fit the hot sex in where we can.

After the game, we go to a local hangout of mine, a place he's never been, that is sort of loungy and smoky. He likes it. Didn't realize Raleigh had places like this. (Who the hell has he been dating????) We sit on the couches and get drinks, and some other folks come and sit on the opposite couch.

We eventually start chatting with these two guys and a girl, and they tell us stories about Vegas (which we love) and then about the party they are having the next night. And then, randomly, they tell us they are installing a stripper pole in their house for the party.

That's hot.

And I say that. Out loud.

Ivy League looks like he's just won the lottery. He's like, "Oh my god, I get to date you! And you love the stripper pole. How lucky am I?!"

We make plans to go to the party the next night. Not sure at this point if these are drunk plans or if they are real plans. Drunk plans are ideas that seem like a great idea at 11:30 on a Friday night after three stoli vanillas. Yet, when re-examined on Saturday at noon you are embarrassed to even consider them. God how did I ever think that was a good idea?

We leave this club and our new found drunk friends and head to my favorite dive bar in downtown. I am driving, so I have been behaving myself with alcohol consumption (or lack thereof) but Hottie's well on his way. Bunny and the cowboy boyfriend are at the bar (yeah!) but the band completely sucks. Worried that Ivy League won't get my ironic love of the bar - the unfanciness of it, the fabulous jukebox, the crazy clientele. But yeah he gets it, and he's comfortable and proceeds to do a shot with Bunny (yeah - get him drunk!)

We run into a lot of people that night at the bar that know my ex fiance, but there's no awkwardness with me, they all seem happy for me and willing to stay friends. Lovely.

We leave after last call, and he's tipsy. He almost falls asleep on the way home, so I am convinced that there will be no action when I get back home to the suburbs.

I was wrong. Intense. Freaky. Lovely. That man is an athlete and sex is his sport. 'nuff said.

Time goes by so slowly (no it doesn't!)

I love that new song by Madonna. Must have watched the video on Virgin.net 10 times in the past week. Need to just go ahead and download the song to my iPod.

Sooo a lot has happened since I last wrote. I'll have to share random moments from the past two weeks rather than tell the linear story. (Both work and travel have gotten in the way of updates this week. I hate doing two jobs at once...)

After the Friday night where Ivy League met my daughter, we went out on a date that Saturday night. Started off at the Rockford for drinks - he had been there once and wanted to go again - and we also both wanted to go because I had heard (via my telephone gossip network) that my ex-fiance was there on a date. Ivy League's reaction to that was dude let's go and face him down. Might as well get the whole run into each other with our new people thing over with as it is bound to happen in this small and socially incestuous town.

Alas the ex fiance was gone when I arrived.

So we are sitting there at the bar with our bourbon and cokes and he somewhat randomly makes the statement:

I made some calls today...

Me, thinking, but not out loud: Good for you, using the telephone like a big boy. Push those buttons.
Him: And I told some girls that I wouldn't be calling them again.

Well alrighteeee then. Not at all expected. Hello commitment.

Usually its the girl that brings up the whole are we exclusive or not. He wasn't doing that directly, and he wasn't asking me to do anything. So it was a pretty cool move on his part to just get it out there and say hey, I am concentrating on you and just you.

I loved it. I had been thinking this, but had not acted upon it. I was, in all honestly, enjoying the attention from others. But I was aware of falling hard for this guy - really hard - like high school fairy tale hollywood movie show up in a limo and save me from this life and let's run off together and live in a hut on the beach in Tahiti sort of falling for. The other distractions and hotties in my life were there to keep me sane about him, and keep my confidence up.

The rest of that night was comfortable and full of sparks at the same time. We went to a private party where Bunny's boyfriend's band was playing -they were fabulous and sang a hilarious song about a blue Cadillac that had me and Ivy League just dying laughing. Bunny looked hot in her cowboy hat and mini-skirt, which she managed to get stuck in her thong coming out of the bathroom but which we quickly spotted for her (I doubt anyone else saw as people were pretty wasted at that point) and corrected. In typical fashion she laughed it off which is what makes her so wonderful to be around.

We went to a CD release party at a local club after that. And I got drunk. Surprise surprise. Told him I was falling in love with him. (Dumb dumb dumb.) and he said me too. (Egads.) That awkwardly hung in the air til we drank some more and then forgot about it and Bunny's ex-boyfriend talked Ivy League's ear off.

Bunny came walking over to me late in the night, after many shots, and in hugging me, we managed to fall down. Splat. Me on top of her. Her reaction? She just laid there and said, "We fell down." embarrassing. But this is not the first time we've landed on the floor together!

Thankfully, Ivy League was in the bathroom.

The next day, Ivy League asked me to go to Vegas with him again the week of Thanksgiving, even knowing that I have that UK trip planned. Indeed I was falling hard for him (and had prematurely said the I love you thing the night before) and I was realizing that perhaps London was not a good idea. I agreed to go, and told him that I couldn't go to London. Told him about Yorkshire Hottie, and he was flattered that I was giving up something to go with him to Vegas.

I made him a CD (DORKY) before I left for Palm Springs on Monday. The trip out there was fabulous - the event I ran went very well and was quite a bit of work and nervousness for two days - and when it was over I had some time to take advantage of the spa and the resort until I had to fly out the next day.

I think Ivy League missed me, as he wanted to see me when I landed Wednesday night at 10. He asked me what I was doing for actual Thanksgiving and proposed going to his sister's house.

Holiday travel. With family. This guy, when I knew him tangentially, was SUCH the playa. What is going on here?

The next weekend Ivy League and I were supposed to go to Miami together, but Wilma prevented that. So we planned a weekend in town together, or mostly together.

Friday night we went to a hockey game. While walking to the ATM(and away from Ivy League) my Yorkshire Hottie called.

Hmmm.

This has become an issue. I no longer live for the emails or messages or when he rings my mobile. I do miss the whole accent and the hello gorgeous and the idea of a hot British guy liking me, but the reality was that I really liked this guy here in town, this all-Americans male that's super smart and hot and maybe not quite as cool as Yorkshire but a much better fit overall.

I chicken out and say I have a bad signal and can't talk. I don't call him back. Weak! Lame!

Back at the game, Ivy League and I sit down at our seats (awesome seats - this guy totally knows how to plan dates and impress) and we notice a co-worker - one of the rare people we both know - sitting just two seats in front of us.

We look at each other, all deer in the headlights and panicked, and think oh well there goes keeping our relationship secret at work. She gets up and says hi to me, and I am quiet and acting suspicious because I am waiting for her to notice who is sitting next to me, and she's just chatting away with me. Then, many sentences into the conversation, she happens to look over and totally naturally says, "Hello XXXX."

Then, she does a double take, and you can see her brain working and the confusion and pseudo disappointment on her face.(She no doubt has a crush on him. All the single girls at work do. I can't blame them, I do too. I'm just the lucky one sitting with him.) And she looks at both of us and says,"awkward moment..." and leaves to get her beer.

We just laugh and wonder if we can convince her to stay quiet about it.

Travel is getting in the way of my blogging

As I am buried in work with the new job, and, added to that, have had to do more travel in the past few weeks, the blog has not been updated regularly. I promise to catch up soon. A sneak peak:

Last weekend Ivy League and I went to a party in the suburbs based primarily on the fact that the hosts had built a stripper pole in their family room. Fun!

I had the best sex of my entire life (and I have had a lot) last Friday night. We all know who with. I got Ivy League a bit tipsy that night and he still performed!

Yorkshire Hottie has been calling a lot, and I have not been answering. Damn I feel bad but I've happily committed to Ivy. Must have that awful conversation about not coming to London to see him.