My head is a fucking ball of string to god's kitten...

Yeah.

Well. So. Some new developments.

I got asked out by someone for a drinky date on Wednesday. I actually struggled with whether to go.

Why? So glad you asked!

It was a combination of things. Do I have the energy to go? (so-so) Is this guy cool? (he is in that corporate, I do well and run 5ks sort of way) Am I interested? (mildly, and maybe in that I should be sort of way as I need to be dating around) Would this fuck up the cool vibe with punk boy?(hmmmmmmmmmmm hmmmmmm je ne sais pas)

I didn't know the answer to that. That could go one of many ways. What to do what to do?

I consulted my board of advisors. And while I am on the phone with Ad Girl and Uncle Big Bad, talking this over in a way that tells me I truly am a 14 year old girl these days (or maybe I just like being part of their life, either way it's there) I get a call on the other line and its Punk Boy.

To that news, Ad Girl says: Oh. Your head is a fucking ball of string to god's kitten.

Indeed. I hung up with them posthaste to listen to his message. Here it is:

"Hi its (insert his name here) and I was just sitting here with some wine and watching Old Christine and thought I would give you a call."

So you are watching a show about a late 30-something divorced woman who has one kid, is friends with her ex husband, and occasionally has ridiculous adventures involving drinking, sex or other fuck ups? And then you decided to call the woman you know who is late 30-something divorced, with one kid, is friends with her ex husband, and has, in front of your eyes, had some adventures involving both drinking and sex?

I digress. I called him right away. We talked. I joked that I am a blonde stand in for his Julia Louis Dreyfuss, single mom fantasy. He laughed a lot at that. He talked about his mom visiting. That's about it. I did not have the guts to bring up the date.

Back in my 14 year old girl mode, I called Ad Girl back. I told her I was looking for a sign that perhaps I should bring this up to him. She said:

dude. the guy calls. talks about his family. what more of a sign do you need? you are gonna potentially go on this date, he'll catch wind and who knows what he'll think. he may be fine, he may not be. the guy left condoms at your house. he thinks he's coming back. who knows what he's thinking? do you want to risk that? just talk to him...you will feel better being honest.

So, I lit a cigarette, took a big gulp of Pinot out of my LEAD CRYSTAL GLASS, and dialed him for the second time that evening. Nervous. But in acting mode - as I can't be nervous or defensive or seem like this is a big deal. It isn't. But being so honest and up front at this ambiguous time in what isn't even a relationship seems odd. I think it is the right thing to do.

(OHHHH LEAD POISONING SETTING IN)

I say: hey. its me. something has come up, and I think we sort of have to have a little conversations without having THE conversation.

He laughs. Says, okay.

I say: So. Someone has asked me out. And I am not sure what to do. I don't know if I am hesitating because I am unsure about the guy, or if I am feeling weird because I just don't know what to do. we're in this weird area. friends, but we're sleeping together. I don't want to hurt your feelings, but I don't want to prematurely put restrictions on whatever is going on here. so I felt it best to be adult and honest and just tell you about it.

So he chuckles a bit, and says: I thought this would happen at some point. I thought of it yesterday, what am I gonna do if someone asks me out? It just happened to you first. I expected this. You have to decide on your own whether you want to go out with him - that's your decision. But I won't be hurt. This is summer '07. We're single. Hate to break up that vibe, or put a label on us that is premature or rush into things.

(This sounds stupid but...I didn't know until that moment when he said that, that I really didn't want to hear him say that. )

He continues: So when I was thinking about this, I was also thinking I would need to run this by you if I was going out with someone else, seems like the right thing to do - just as you have done. I so appreciate the honesty. But this is back on you whether you go out with him. You have to decide that for yourself. That's your decision. And that's a lot tougher to decide - what it is you want.

Thanks for lobbing that one back to me, Punk Boy. (Hilarious loud typical laughter from me.)

So I hang up. And yeah, I am gonna go out on that date, and its the right thing to do. And I got a level set about us- which is good (my imagination was better for my ego) and as ad girl says, you get to this point early to avoid bigger talks later. Plus, with the honesty, you guys can go back to being friends when this fling is done.

And I think our friend KJ, who is L's best friend and JP regular, said it best when she said:

He's really just fling material.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch...

N, the ex. Calls. He's mourning. His heart is broken. Man does he need some time and space. I found that I can be objective about him at this time - only b/c I recognize that he is in that space I was in, especially in the fall as sad girl and in going back out with he who should not be named. I recognize that mansion in hell he's in right now, I lived there. He's given a lot, more than he's ever given, and it didn't work. You feel like an utter failure.

The thing is, now I also know he'll come out of this. Maybe not this week, maybe not this month. But he's going to emerge just fine down the road.

So I'm compiling the list. And there's more than one man on it. And there's going to be 2-3 potentials in there just waiting to move up.